01/18/2005: "Do you want the men around you to be more expressed?"
To create the kind of situation that enables men to communicate fully, remember this:
· Make sure it is a good time to ask a question. This means when he is not doing anything else (including things you don't think are important). To check, you can ask, "Is this a good time to ask a question?" Don't take it personally if he says no and try again at a later time.
· After you ask the question, give him time to think before he responds. He is not taking the answer off the top of his head, he is really thinking about it. That is the respect he is paying to your question. Just wait patiently while he thinks. If you prompt him, or rephrase your question, that will interrupt his thought processes and you will likely end up getting very little communication from him, if any.
· Make sure that you don't have a "right answer" in mind. If his answer will get him in trouble with you, he can tell this and is likely to not answer at all. Be open and willing to be surprised and learn something from him.
